Our society conditions us to be fearful about many things in life.
From a young age we are warned by our parents to ‘be careful’.
The media bombards us with stories of everything that’s wrong in the world while conveniently forgetting the positive side to humanity.
Negativity bias means that we are hardwired to focus on the bad over the good. Social media companies know this all too well and happily keep us hooked on a cocktail of amplified fear and outrage.
Fear insidiously creeps in and we often stay stuck in our comfort zone. And so at some point we have to do something about it or face the consequences of inertia.
Once we finally take action and live to tell the tale, it gives us confidence to apply the same courage to other areas of our lives.
The power of saying yes.
For example, when I was preparing to try psychedelics for the first time in a shamanic ceremony, I was terrified. What if I lost my mind? (Spoiler: I kind of did, but in the best way possible!) Once I leaned into it, I conquered that fear and discovered a whole new way to explore my mind and psyche, leading to some illuminating breakthroughs.
If I let my fear win, I wouldn’t have tried it and perhaps might still be left wondering what if. It also led to other benefits, such as making some interesting new friends through the ceremonies I’ve attended.
So saying yes doesn’t just help us conquer fear; it opens the door to unexpected gold.
Growth v Fixed mindset.
Our ability to take on new challenges is closely linked to whether or not we have a a fixed or growth mindset, the term coined by American psychologist Caroline Dweck.
People with a fixed mindset often believe their intelligence is set in stone. They focus on trying to appear smart and might avoid challenges because they think struggling or making mistakes is a sign they’re not capable.
In contrast, those with a growth mindset see abilities as something they can develop. They’re more likely to view effort as essential for learning and see setbacks as chances to grow and improve their skills.
When we adopt a growth mindset, we are open to making mistakes and ready to become a beginner again. But if you’ve got ADHD, you might already be familiar with some of the mental traps we can fall into when it comes to learning, effort and failure.
Many of us grow up feeling like we’re constantly being judged or falling short, which can shape how we see our abilities and approach challenges. This ties directly into the idea of a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset and understanding the difference could change how you approach things.
Fixed mindset and ADHD.
Those with a fixed mindset believe their abilities, whether that’s intelligence, talent, or focus are set in stone. For ADHDers, this can feel like a broken record. After years of hearing comments like, “Why can’t you just focus?” or “You’re so lazy brah,” it’s easy to start thinking, This is just who I am. I’m either good or bad at something.
This way of thinking can make us avoid challenges altogether. Why risk trying something new if failure feels inevitable? ADHD can make us extra sensitive to criticism or mistakes, so failing feels bigger than it really is, proof we’re not capable.
Hyperfocus and effort.
Now let’s add another layer: hyperfocus. When we’re really interested in something, we can dive in and kill it, but when we’re not, it can feel like pulling teeth. That inconsistency can mess with our heads. We might think, I’m only good at the things I love. And no amount of effort is going to change that.
Sound familiar? It’s a hallmark of the fixed mindset, believing our abilities are set in stone and that effort doesn’t matter.
Growth Mindset and ADHD.
On the flip side, a growth mindset is the belief that we can develop and improve with time, effort and the right tools. For people with ADHD, this means reframing how we see challenges and setbacks. Struggling with something doesn’t mean we’re not capable, it’s just part of the process. This has taken me many years to learn!
Here’s the thing: ADHD brains are wired to be creative, adaptable and resilient. We’re natural problem-solvers. That’s ideal ingredients for growth, but it requires a shift in perspective. Instead of seeing a mistake as failure, we can see it as feedback and an opportunity to learn and improve.
How to shift your mindset and take on new challenges.
It’s not always easy to lean into a growth mindset with ADHD, especially when executive function gets in the way. Things like planning, self-monitoring and managing emotions (all tough for ADHD brains) are the same skills needed to reflect, adapt and push through challenges. But it’s doable.
The key is breaking things down:
Celebrate small wins. Every tiny step forward is proof you’re capable of growth.
Reframe the story. Instead of “I can’t do this,” try, “I can’t do this yet.”
When you get frustrated, use the breath to stay calm, grounded and focused.
Shifting to a growth mindset isn’t about “positive thinking” or pretending everything’s easy. It’s about understanding that ADHD doesn’t limit us, we just need to approach challenges differently. The truth is, we’re capable of much more than we give ourselves credit for and embracing that belief can make all the difference.
So, next time you catch yourself saying, “I’m just not good at this,” stop and ask, What can I learn from this? Because that’s where the magic of growth starts baby!
And as the inspirational Susan Jeffers put it, "Feel the fear and do it anyway."
When you're midway through a psychedelic ceremony and realise your fixed mindset is melting faster than the candles around you.
Beautiful